Anger

Just like a writer's block, there's something called Writer's Tsunami also. [If not, then there should be :P].......Its the time when writer's otherwise blocked, indolent , numb, stupefied, paralyzed mind suddenly starts hyperventilating and you have a flood of ideas rushing in..........

I had this moment during my road trip to Goa.............there was this huge flood of ideas which started rushing when i was lying on the backseat of car. Exhausted, tired ...it was a 45 Hrs drive :)

One of the ideas which hit me was to write something whenever i was in a particular state of mind. To write an entry when I was very very happy, when I was sad, Wen I was angry......When emotions had better of me.....

This is one such day perhaps......I am angry .........extremely angry..........frustrated perhaps..........Ive been so angry for last two days that first thing I did when I woke up today morning was to bang my fist on the wall..........Why am I angry??? Reasons I think are always too small to be discussed in front of things as mighty as emotions............

It's quite amazing though,from those who know me well...Ive always been someone neurotically happy to the bone.......Ive never seen myself much in emotions like anger , retaliation. So its okay to know the feeling.

It makes you feel small.........perfect antidote for hope.......and a tailor made catalyst for self doubt. I think one needs insecurity inside him to get angry and frustrated in the first place. I was looking over the net and its full of quotes and articles about how anger is a bad thing, how its a sign of weak people....Audaciously announcing that great people never get angry ..............

Yes I am angry.Yes I am frustrated.Yes I am weak.Yes I am mortal.I feel good. I feel perfect. I want to make people bad about themselves. i want to use whatever I have for something negative. Its like a mirror, might be a faded mirror, but I see a person who is a total loser. A person who couldn't achieve what he's set out to do.  Anger Blinds people says wise guy from I- dont- know -where -some -spiritual -fat- good for nothing- bullcrap book.........but I think it opens your eyes...............

A greasy fuking disgusting seal lying on a muddy rock sweating with its eyes closed. Enjoying the sun the seal is loving life with its eyes closed ......tossing from one reverie to another............thinking of itself as a magnificent seal owning the world without exception............and suddenly the eye opens and through the dense mud around the eyes the seal looks at the reflection...............Horrible, disgusting, repulsive, nauseous form of itself...............Good Morning .............Happy Realization.

I am not angry enough, I am more frustrated..............I am saving this entry ...........I am not posting it............Maybe I need to test different levels of Anger....Ill keep updating it when I'm angry next

Meanwhile...............here's a sweet little message for you.

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