I was reading Edward de Bono's Six Thinking Hats the other day.It basically assigns a particular emotion to each colored hat and that's used to takes decisions and blah blah. Point being, I was wondering whether it is always possible to identify an emotion?
Most of the times we can, In fact we could break our day according to the way we felt at each point of time.
But there are times when you just can't describe what you feel? And it's not that I don't feel anything at that point of time, I'm swept by a sea of emotions, but i just can't put it into words!!
It's that intense feeling I feel, My lower jaw trembles, I feel cold, Eyes wide open.....Everything around seems to move in a slow motion, the sounds echo, I am closest to myself at that point of time.That....... in fact is all I that i can identify for sure!! being closest to myself.
I felt this way when I sang on stage the first time.I didn't want anything else at that moment,I could've died and wouldn't have complained. When I finished,It all went silent for a few seconds, and the light was blinding and couldn't see anything.And then i suddenly heard the roar of the crowd,I stood there Numb....totally incapable of grasping the feeling.
And I felt this way once in an exam, when my twin's seat was suddenly changed. It was a trade off, I was supposed to complete my paper before time and and show it her.She was supposed to be seated exactly behind me.I saw the paper,it was a MATHS paper for god's sake......all that which wasn't supposed to happen; happened.I was blank and Numb,the same kinda emotion which can't be described basically.Somewhere near fear maybe.
Anyways,when results came,i got 56/100, she got 78 !! Apparently even in class 4th she knew the importance of backups.
I felt this kind of trembling feeling,impossible to explain when I won the All Asia quiz by a tie breaker,I felt this when i heard suddenly that my buddy having rum with me on that chilly night lost his father.
Situations change,feeling remains the same.It sometimes hovers around sorrow,sometime near escalation !! Maybe the pursuit of Grand Unification Theory [Also called the "Theory of everything] should start from here.
She walked into the room that day,and I was instantly in the trance mode.I just stood there, unable to comprehend what was happening.It was like someone had increased the brightness suddenly in my life.That feeling,hovered around inadequacy.Everyone in that room felt sad that they belonged to the same species as her.She exudes that kind of superiority in her surreal humble way.Whatever pinnacle I had imagined for myself in my Utopian reveries.....would still not be able make me enough even to stand near her.I think the feeling of attraction inched towards reverence. And I so damn very knew that i'd still feel the same when we both would be old, and I'd be watching her from afar. I just know.
..[Awkward face]...Ahem....anyways......feels nice to run out of words at times.Why do we need to be able to clearly define everything in the first place? I have a problem with that.
I think the more profound a feeling is,the more difficult it gets to define it in words.