The Song

Excerpts from the novel I am working On. The Prof writing his journal from the Prison's hospital. 

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It's a good thing I haven't met you Nausheen. Each time I think about you Nausheen I think of you in a different form and the song comes out in that fragrance of yours. It's like presenting you in a new form. Through my song. Through my art. And each time I think of you I find something new, and I add something new to my songs. A rainbow's spectrum can end with its seven colors, the sunflower can stop its search at the sun, the dream can stop its search the stars. My search never ends, my thirst never quenches. I'll never find the complete you. I'll never make that complete song.It's because I've never met you.My song will keep improving and will be new forever.  Its a good thing I haven't met you Nausheen. 

Its a good thing I haven't met you Nausheen. Whatever I achieve in life seems insignificant if you're not next to me. Each day I accomplish things worth one life. Doesn't matter. So I keep achieving, but it's never enough. Enough is a wrong word here. "Insignificant" is more like it. Success is such an insignificant entity. It keeps piling up and it doesn't matter. Stars, Nausheen...are insignificant if there's no light to make them visible. They might be there but they can't be seen. They're insignificant. Being alive and just standing next to you could have been an achievement had you been there with me. I'd slip out of the bed quietly, go to the next room and dance. I would HAVE to dance. Else I'd go mad with suffocation of Joy.I'd dance to celebrate another day with you. Had you been there with me that is. Now that you're not there, it doesnt matter.I could achive in a day more success more beauty more wealth more love one could get in 10 lives. It's all insignificant.

Keeps me humble.

Its a good thing I haven't met you Nausheen.

Its a good thing I haven't met you Nausheen.Makes me a simple man. Needs can be many, wants are none Nausheen. Forget being your man, if I got a chance to stand even in the same room as yours and have a look at you, I'd be content for life.I could die happy the very next moment. I haven't seen you. haven't met you. I am not content.I'm not dying. It's a good thing. Makes me a simple man. Wants are none. I just have a smile to offer if someone asks me what I want. Its a good thing I haven't met you Nausheen.

Its a good thing I haven't met you Nausheen.There's this detachment I've got for everyone I meet or I get close to. I like them. I can do anything for them. Yes. But I am incapable of loving them. A soul without a shrine they say, is the one who can't love. You are my shrine. You're not with me. I dont love anyone. They could be dead next minute. Doesn't make a fucking difference. Saves me from the trap.THe trap called Love. Its a good thing I haven't met you Nausheen.

Its a good thing I haven't met you Nausheen. Makes me sad. Sad on a persistent basis. So I put on a mask. Of being happy on a persistent basis. People ask me and wonder how I am ALWAYS so happy. Dumb creatures don't realize that the man with the deepest grief has the strongest mask of happiness on his face. Greek Tragedy I say. Strong mask helps me manipulate people well though. Also when the heart is insignificant one focuses more on the brain. I use just the brain. And boy do I use it well.No emotions. I can hurt people well because I dont see anyone as sad as I am.  All thanks to you Nausheen. 

Its a good thing I haven't met you Nausheen!!!

Its a good thing I haven't met you Nausheen!!!

Its a good thing I haven't met you Nausheen!!!

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Papers snatched away from the prof.