Reverie

While these people are in a riot
I wonder what I am doing here?
I give that lil smirk and wonder
Isn't that what I always swear?

This wasn't even supposed to be a poem
And I dont think it is.
This chaos makes me wonder,
Was I sleeping?

Was I sleeping
and everybody else is waking up?
or is it that everybody has gone in a trance
And I continue to stay awake

Thats what happens when you are sad
You tend to stay awake
But then everbody;s sad
Am I dead?

The Play

The Prof in Asylum [P]

The Doctor [D]

========================

D : It's a shame we meet in such awkward circumstances professor. I read your work and I think you are exceptional.

P: Being nice are you? In what capacity may I ask? As a visiting doctor, or as the beautiful lady that you are?
Neither forms of you impress me by the way.

D: They warned about how you get sarcastic. Didn't know you get caustic!

P: So you think I am caustic?

D: Yes

P: And exceptional?

D: at the same time, yes !

P: Ah ! No wonder they keep me in a cage. I am one of a kind come to think of it.

D: Professor, you could have contributed a lot to the society with your genius. Look at you, where you ended up!

P: * Keeps Staring *

D: What?

P: This is the point where I give a long intellectual speech about how I don't give a flying fuck about the society, isnt it?

D: You dont need to say it. What you did made it clear enough.

P : What a predictable conversation !

D: We need you to help us

P: You needed to say that? They keep me chained and I havent seen daylight in years now, and then they send someone as pretty as you suddenly to talk to me. Of course you need my help. But tell me, what part of me gives the impression that I need to listen to such dumb conversations ?

D: Will you ? help?

P: What a predictable conversation !

D: I don't have time to waste.

P:What a predictable conversation !

D:You could save lives Professor

P: What a predictable conversation !

D: *Silent*

P: Stares

D: Why is being predictable such a problem?

P: Because it lacks randomness *Does the butterfly dance*

D: And why should I be indulging in random talks when there is such an important task at hand?

P: Is it more important than the creation of the universe my lady?

D: Excuse me ?

P:Entropy.

D: Entropy ?

P:  is the measure of degree of randomness. It is always increasing. Which means randomness is always increasing. Increase in entropy is the basic fabric on which universe is sketched, which means randomness is the way in which universe is sketched. Randomness, is the way universe is created. Universe is the truth. No Randomness, No Universe. No Universe No truth.  Go Figure

D: *Silent*

P: *keeps doin the butterfly dance*

D:They need to know your methods of prediction. We need to save people. Please !

P:How do you know What I wrote is correct?

D: We don't. There are so many things which are just absurd in your book. No one has been able to decipher.

P: But you just did.That's what that stuff is. Absurd.

D: Really?

P: What a predictable conversation.

D: Why would you do that? Why would you put bullshit in such amazing work?

P: Because honey, its not a "book". It's a device. No one but the enlightened one will know what is right and what is wrong in it.

D:We need you to help us predict.

P: And take away the basic reason of the cause? Interfere with Nature? Restrict the Randomness?

Climate Change

Snowfall in Saudi Arabia, March 2012 #Climate Change

Source: Al Jazeera

Tsumiki No Ie

Picture says a thousand words. Video says it more. I think no one should miss this masterpiece of a short movie. 

With the way the situation is right now, this movie will soon be a reality. For OUR generation.

Implosion, please!!

In Tokyo's Rose Hall of United Nations, blessed and gifted people from 37 countries across the globe debate on an extremely sensitive issue, global warming. 

• Do we foresee a nature based adaptation or technology driven ecosystems?
• Is investment in climate change a good idea? Where does one draw the line?

These are some of the issues which young, vibrant and talented people debate on. 

Expected. 

Talking about exceptional people, Hamza Mohammad is a Somali freelance journalist living in London.He reports from camps 30 Kms north of capital city, Mogadishu. Camps made from plastic sheets, papers, tattered clothes thrown away by the big city. This "waste" is what refugees use to build their lives. 

A parallel universe. 

Isha Ali, a weak and fragile mother of five, struggles to put plastic sheets to save herself from rain.Like all refugees, she has walked weeks to escape the religious conflicts in her village.She lost all her five children during the exodus. She is too weak to stand. 

A village which once was the richest in terms of agricuture, is now inhabitable due to ethnic voilence between muslims and other tribes. 

Isha holds his hands in a feeble grip and manages to utter the words "Hungry , hungry". All she has had to consume during last three days is rainwater. 

She breaks into tears when she finds out he is a journalist, not an AID worker. 

In the city, 15 kilometers away from the camp, food received from UN and agencies is being sold illegally in a rampant manner. Economics is simple. Farmer charges money as per the charges incurred to grow the food. Relief ration comes at the price which the corrupt NGO officer asks. 

Per tonne wise, it a lot cheaper to buy the ration off relief agencies. So confident are the sellers that they don't even bother to remove the "NOT FOR SALE" or UN logos from the sack. 

Business !

When the problems become extreme, revolutions happen.Yes. We saw how a 27 year young unemployed Tunisian called Mohd  Bouazizi sparked the entire Arab wave. The universal truth is that "Change is the only thing permanent". Despots across the world tend to forget it time and again. The revolutionary waves reminds them with a slap on their head. Sometimes with a bullet !

How come extreme events like hunger and violence in Africa, Corruption in Asian countries like India escape a sustained revolution?

Born in 1924, Amiclar Cabral from an extremely poor country of Cape Verde realized the need for a revolution in his country. Young Amiclar was an educated Agro engineer and wondered at the same question.

How come there hasn't been a revolution in spite of the extreme pathetic situation of my country?

Amiclar sparked an armed revolution which Africa and the world had never seen before in the 60's. 

With a difference !

He realized that in most of the cases where revolutions failed the common mass who was suffering never identified itself with the mainstream revolutionaries. After a revolution was over the fighters gained power and the cycle continued. Mass continued to suffer. 

Amiclar made the common people beleive that the fighters were one of them. 

How?

The revolutionaries integrated themselves thoroughly with the daily lives of common people. When not fighting, they were striped of the ranks and power and they worked on farms as common farmers helping people grow their village economy. Most importantly, extremely effective communication between the commons and the fighters was established. 

Amiclar Cabral realized that helping people satisfy their basic needs would free their minds to contemplate more ethereal problems, like freedom and independence.
 

When the fighters went to war, the entire village wept. When they won, the entire village wept.

Unity was achieved. 

For his efforts, Amiclar Cabral was assassinated in 1973. 8 months later his country acheived unilateral declaration of independence. 

That's the thing about us, we all know what we want freedom from: from our government, our jobs, our responsibilties. 

What do you want freedom for?

Call me an existentialist, but I sincerely believe freedom does not mean not having any responsibility. In fact, it means taking responsibility for "everything" in your life. You don't have anything to blame. Not even destiny or god. You are "free", remember?

While it's great to hear all extremely talented colleugues to debate on issues such as climate change, it would be heartening to see if all the talent was used to work upon a solution which is implementable and involves masses. Preaching and leading does not get sustainable solutions anymore.

Getting people to act without being motivated by a leader.The need to change should come from within. That's what is required.

An Implosion instead of an Explosion. 

 -Kunal. 

   

The Golden Pen

Dreams are realms where your subconscious rules. You sad boring little life is a mere palette of colors from which it picks up a few shades and then creates.

Creates what it wants. 

I was writing before I slept and left the cap of my golden parker open. 

Small event , right?

It formed the central theme of the dream. I had not one, not two , not three , but multiple layers of different stories going on at once. All connected to the pen and its cap. 

Theme 1: 

Interestingly enough, central theme is the story of a spy.This is the main story line and all other stories were happening in between this one. Now I dont really remember what this particulars of this story, but yes this guys is dressed in suits and is involved in counterespionage. Dream started with this guy in bed with a woman, he suddenly wakes up from the sleep. We keep coming back to this scene throughout the dream. Apparently the spy gets a dream warning him about the woman next to him. [Dream within a dream].

The story of the spy was very elaborate and specific, like a movie. From what I remember, the main highlight is that through a scan of a paper which shows an open pen cap, the spy comes to know that he is being double crossed and survives.

Theme 2: 

Next, the story fast forwards. I am old now. I feel very dejected with the fact that Ive done horrible things as a spy. I keep thinking how world is such a bad place. I decide to jump from a bridge. I start walking in rain. I throw my phone away. As I throw the phone away, the pen falls on the road. Pen cap remains in the pocket. Just when i am about to jump, there is this young guy who comes up to return my pen. I am so surprised and overwhelmed that I keep looking at him. I take the pen and walk back home smiling.

Theme 3:

I am really poor. Young. I have an interview. I go to a shopping mall. I steal a shirt. I go to a restaurant, I steal a blazer.

There is a this druglord who delivers a bag full of coke I think. He gets paid in one piece of a transparent blue diamond. He hides it in his golden parkers pen cap.It has something like that of a chamber.  I am at the reception of the hotel where the druglord stands. Druglord keeps the pen on desk for some reason. He is being searched by the cop. I steal his pen cap thinking that Ill put it on my shirt and everyone will think I have a golden parker. I leave the pen with its front hiding under a paper. I walk out with pen cap unaware of the diamond.

Theme 4:

Little kid in class, Drops his pen cap. Goes down to pick up the pen cap but stops to peep under the skirt of girl sitting behind him. He is caught.

What follows is horror. He is turned out of his class. Principal tells him to go and call his parents. He is suspended from school. He is so embarrassed to tell his parents that he ends up running away from home instead. He is picked up by the local pickpockets. He swears never to be good again !

From what I believe, the spy story had three separate instances where the pen and its cap were involved. This included a sign engraved on the pen and a person having a similar tattoo on his arm. I have no clue about the story.

I don't know about you, but I love to be dominated by the subconscious mind. One could call me a masochist in that sense !

The Sun Rise in the East

I confess that being a north indian i had absoulutely no exposure to people from north east india.It was in MNIT that I got the proximity and the opportunity to meet and understand this wonderful set of people. We people who were in such universities were the blessed people. Most of the people dont get such opportunities. My room mate Birjeet Longjam from Manipur is one one of the most exceptional beings I have ever known in my life. Next time you are stupid enough to call anyone a chinki...remember the pride you felt when Mary Kom won the medal. I faced racism in my travels abroad and my immediate reaction was that i want to go home. Its the most horrible feeling.Depressing and Petrifying. But what does one do when one faces this in his own home? The current exodus of our brothers and sisters will cause a serious rip in the fabric of our fragile yet beautiful society. What exists as fear today in them will grow into anger once they reach back home ! And might come against N Indians and S Indians in their home state. Dont I look stupid using the terms N indians and S Indians in the previous sentence? We dont need this terminology. Please think about it.

2 cup chai

Retard poetry homework submission # 231122

2 cup chai 2 cup chai,

Ill tell all truth, will speak no lie,

I wish hindi madam to die

2 cup chai

pinki is so pretty, hai

Y she no say hi?

2 cup chai

No matter how hard u try

her skirt will never get high

2 cup Chaai

I am almost a super guy

Its just that I cant fly

In fact, I am rather sly

2 cup chaai 2 cup chaai

enough for today's pie

Knight says good bye

2 cup chaai 2 cup chaai

2 cup chaai 2 cup chaai

Alice's Wonderland

Titles can be won, honor lies in the scars
Blood won't turn blue, a thousand crowns you may lift.
Own all the land, can you own the sun and the stars?
Knowledge you can gain, blessed are those with beauty as a gift.



And then comes the Alice



She owns the sun with her royal shine,
Her beauty and brains seducing the land like wine.

On the House !

Scene1: Hotel Pivot

Reception Babe: Welcome to Hotel Pivot, Can I help you
GuljariLal: Yes I'd like a table for Two
Reception Babe: Yes Sir, and would you like a seat near the Bar?
GuljariLal: *Silent*
Reception Babe: Sir? U need a seat near the Bar?
GuljariLal: Cancel the fuking reservation
Reception Babe: Sir?
GuljariLal: Yeah All this reminded me that I need to fill "bars" in a "Pivot" "Table" for my Boss.
Reception Babe: Non Excel Jobs Rule , Bitch.
*HANGS UP*

The Sublime "Spaces" of Solitude

It’s not everyday that one gets asked to be a guest author by somebody as awesome as Rohini Singh. So today when she did ask me, I said I’d be glad and I went to bed.

It’s 3:32 AM and I can’t sleep. I can’t wait. I have to write. J

I have this thing for words starting with “S”. Solitude Sublime are such beautiful two words. They amaze me. On the brutal journey of what to write and the herculean task of converting coucntless thoughts into words, I come upon one of the favourite words of mine, this one starting with “S” yet again. It’s not solitude, It’s not sublime.

It’s space.

================================================

And now that one dares to scribble in this epic

How about scribbling a little about something awesome on solitude sublime

The word is “Space” ,about which I’ve written Before

But isn’t it never enough to write on something so divine?

Verses form the DNA of this blog,

And thus the prose shall give in to verse’s fight

Today’s author, ladies and gentlemen

Is the quixotic knight

The existence of this concept space around us,

It’s dichotomy with object is mystical.

What you perceive as space can be a collection of a million objects

This verse is already so whimsical

What you perceive as empty space,

Is a crowd of molecules and atoms packing up leaving no space

What you perceive as a solid object

Can be an empty space for trillions of objects within

Gets hard to explain the concept,

So consider the room where you sit,

It’s a solid object for a person standing outside

Yet for you a space where you fit.

Life is nothing but but an empty space,

It’s all empty space, you and I.

Starts with an empty space in the womb,

Space remains when you die.

It’s surprising why its not yet a religion,

Space’s existence remains without a doubt!

There are so many questions about existence of God

Where’s he? I hear, So many broken soul’s shout.

Take away everything,

destroy all that exists,

Do the dance of Shiva,

And yet an empty pure space persists.

One which can cannot be created

One which cannot be destroyed.

Gods can fall , sedated

Space stands, like a numb soldier deployed.

We exist not in time, We exist not in this world.

In space, exists everything. Everything which ever was.

It can be an object, or maybe even a thought,

Nothing escapes the mighty space’s claws

There is physical space,

and then there’s  the mental domain.

One might disappear from physical world

But in mental space they always remain.

You’re born , you live, you love.

You laugh you play and you die in your tomb.

Even though physically you’re now an empty space

Like your origin, the empty womb.

So while the physical space is constant

And creation leads always to destruction here.

Is there no boundary

To the mental space’s sphere?

An objects needs space to exist

Space exists if there is an object.

What was present when there was absolute purity of space?

Finding this answer, is the prophet’s project.

Space is deeper in solitude,

And in solitude its more sublime.

It’s best to perhaps hide space’s mystery

And in ignorance grace its shine!

Le Petit Prince

Little Prince now arrived on an asteroid which had no one but me doing facebook.

Lil Prince: Why do you sit on this internet site all day?
Me: Because I like to talk to everyone and be with my friends and not feel lonely.
Lil Prince: But you are alone on this planet, where are the friends?
Me: Yes so I sit on Facebook so that I don't feel lonely.
Lil Prince: What happens when you stop feeling lonely?
Me: I sit on facebook more because all these people out there end up making me feel more Lonely.

And the little prince left with a sigh. Strange are the ways of grown ups.

Midsummer Knight's Dream

This is an entry for Lakme Diva Blogger Contest. First prize is a Kindle Fire. Second is a Kindle. I always wanted a Kindle Fire.

========================================================
" Sucks this summer to be single, 
What makes me think, a guy so simple,
(with a pimple),
Will get to spend summer with Miss Lakme Sunshine,
who smiles with a dimple?
Excitement for Elena might dwindle, 
But forever, shall be the passion for a Kindle"

To,
The Awesome Elena,
The Lakme Sunshine Chica,
Volleyball area,
Exotic Shiny Beach.

Dear Elena,

It's been almost a month and a half since the onset of summer. You seem to be having a good time. Oh and by the way, I am what they call me the quixotic knight in the world of blogging.
[Mom says its rude to start talking without giving an intro.Dad says it's not cool to start the talking with an intro. So I am a bit confused].
I am , what you can comfortably call, a geek. But contrary to what you and your friends at Lakme might think about me, I also plan on having a good time. This summer.

Playin with my nintendo was an option !!

 "Elena, is fun loving,enjoys music and loves travelling." says the description. That's pretty awesome. And on top of that you like to "do it outdoors" they say. Blimey, in just two sentences they have made you a girl any guy could give his right arm for [pun not intended]. Now suppose that You and I were to spend time together this summer, I'd make sure that it's awesome because I think the way I am planning my summers is going to be better than anything you've ever envisaged.

Beaches of course. I am sure you like to swim. I'd recommend us going to Thailand.Not to fancy places like Bangkok or fancy beaches like Phuket. There is this small little island called Koh Tao near the gulf of Thailand. It just 21 km sq across in area !

People on this island do the following things

                                         

Swim with the sharks ??

1. They teach Scuba Diving
2. Those not teaching are learning Scuba Diving.
3. Everybody on a full moon night gets on a boat and go the nearby Island for the Insane Full Moon party

And that's it.

Legend says you pick your own mushroom there ;) The one which glows in the dark is one u want ;)

Come to think of it,its not too bad an idea. If you do a course here, you get an International PADI divers licence, and then you can dive anywhere in the world. 

Sunlight is a versatile thing. Apart from giving the extremely crucial Vitamin D, it also gives exposure to the UVR [Ultra Voilet Rays]. Contrary to what people believe, most of the times the skin cancers are due to insufficient exposure to UVR, reducing bodies resistance to them in the process. 

So just like Sunshine, the vacation also needs to be Versatile Elena. 

So from the mind numbing Full Moon Party in Thailand lets go directly to Angkot Wat, Cambodia. It's the largest complex Hindu Structure in the world.Later it had the Buddhism elements too coming into it. A brush with History, Philosophy, Religion, mysticism...not bad for a two day tour I say.

Lara Croft Kicked pretty much everbody's ass here in the movie

Armed with a PADI licence, lets work as Rescue divers for a while at the beach what say? And if one has to dive ever in his life, it better be in the Great Barrier Reef, Australia. Rescue Divers are Supercool. And they get PAID to be supercool. Spend time on a beach, hang around have fun, and just in case you get bored you can save a life or two, Wat Say?  :p

Sting rays, Sharks, nothing can be a Barrier for divers in the Barrier

And then as if that wasn't enough,once you get bored out of it....we can go Biking. By Biking I mean Long distance Trans Australia Harley Davidson bike ride Baby ;)

I dont support leather, but if on bike a chic ALWAYS has to wear Leather ;)

And finally, once we are done with the continent, lets get out of there. But not the routine way. Lets hop on to a boat to Japan. Perhaps one of those Illegal ones. That'd be supercool. Workin ur way on the deck. Ol' pirate Style.

Being the "sunshine" chica on the pirate boat doesn't help much though,come to think about it :P

Once We are in Japan, I'd be too busy learning Manga Sketching. When not sketching I'd be too busy looking for Japanese Manga Animes.You can of course meet a Geisha or two and advise them to get some sunlight.Give them the Lakme Experience. From the look of it, they dont get any at all.Its Petrifying. They need to get some sunshine for sure.
Ninja's too for that matter. They are so busy hiding, ready to assassinate everyone and anyone that all the "Sunshine" is lost from their lives. In every sense of the word.

Memories of the Geisha ain't too bright. Everything's dull.

To sum it up, you would have done the following things by the end of the summer

1. Learn how to Scuba Dive and get a rescue divers licence from PADI. 
2. Learn this shit on one of the most beautiful beaches of this planet. Koh Tao.
3. Party on Kon panang on a FULL MOON PARTY. By far one of the most insane parties a human being can manage to be in.
4. Visit the 12th century structure of the Ankor wat and bask in the awesomeness of its History. 
5. Dive the BARRIER REEF. And work as a Rescue Diver there. 
6. Ride an illegal ship Ol" Pirate style.
7. TO Japan !!
8. Meet a few Geisha's, teach then Lakme's Magic
9. Survive Ninja's and become the "sunshine" of their Life.

So you see, I'd be glad to have you over and make this amazing adventure happen. In case it turns out that you are not for real and they were just kidding me. Then just send a Kindle Fire Dear Elena to this depressed geek. I'd be curled up in a corner missing you and reading the kindle. [Heh Heh, NOT ! ]

Yours

"Wondering if you will be cooking your own meal on the pirate boat?"

Kunal aka the Quixotic Knight

XOXO Love

==========END===================================================

Catch this “Don”or if you can. Movie Review : "Vicky Donor"

Catch this “Don”or if you can.

Rating:  \m/\m/\m/\m/

What do you do when you want to make a blockbuster movie and rake millions out of it? It’s simple. Get the usual weapons: a big production house, a cliché script with a happy ending which helps the stressed Indian viewer go back home happy and of course to pull all this off the most lethal weapon of them all, Stardom. And yes.. a dash of lil skimpy vamp gyrating on 70’s kinda theme. There you go. Perfect recipe.

But what if you don’t have the power to afford the stardom? Then the real game comes into play. The most lethal weapon of them all is then humor and a right balance of emotions. A well written script which carries it better than Forest Gump carrying his mates in battlefield and an experienced actor in the team to  rock everyone off their pants with his awesomeness and inspire the rest of the new crowd to excel in whatever they do. A story so real that the audience visualizes the movie happening in his own humble home rather than a dream which normally the star packed movies tend to do.

Apna Vicky donor…they did just that. A perfectly crafted script, it uses humor, meticulous research and balance of emotions more professionally than a yakuza hitman handling his sniper rifle. The new cast of Yamini and Aysuhman and the rest do their bit with such perfection that it almost looks easy to do as we sit and watch the flick. And while the newbies carry their parts flawlessly, the source of inspiration lies in the magic like craft of the experienced veteran Anu kapoor. Anyone and I mean anyone who was in that team and was watching Mr Kapoor in his usual impeccable form couldn't help bask in his awesomeness and get inspired.

And if that’s not enough, they also pour drops of music which refuses to go out of your mind.[ Just like I refuse to go out this writing business.]  And then there are little details which blow your mind away. Like the relationship between the old Saas and the withering Bahu sharing a drink together every night. And the unquestionable bias of Dadi towards the grandson. {btw that’s more real than you can ever imagine. Come over for a coffee at my home sometime and you’ll know J }. And the way they captured the Bengali lifestyle. Even better, the way they captured Dilli wala Punjaabi life ishtyle. Most of the marriges they show in movies scare me as a bachelor. Petrify, I think is a better word. The wedding they’ve shown in this movie, it actually made me wonder when am I gonna watch My Dadi dance in my Baraat.

Aayushman is brilliant. Period. High time that people started taking people with good humor seriously. Because that is actually the toughest genre of all.And for a change, requires brains. Yamini, I start stammering when I talk about her like SRK from Darrrr……..I am in love. If she just sat pretty on that bank desk smiling and did nothing else then also she would have made people fall in love with her. Her versatile acting almost inches ahead of her oh- so- good looks and makes people not only fall in love with her but stand up, clap and cry at the same time.

Special mention to master performances by the Dadi, the mom, the friend who walks with a stick and the girl next door. They’ve owned the audience.

This is one movie in which Shoojit Sarkar has done what no other Director has done before. While making a light hearted movie which directly deals with a sexual theme right from its title itself, it’s a movie which doesn’t talk about sex. And if the box office figures  are anything to go by , the movie still manages to live by the age old diktat………. “Sex Sells”.

 photo courtesy: santabanta.com

Crying

Excerpts from the novel.

Excerpt from the Prof's speech in the court.
=======================
"Crying is such a luxury. If you are crying and there is someone around to take notice, you are lucky. You are being pampered. Soldiers don't stop and cry. I am in the labor camp. I have to work so hard that by the time I get back to cell I am so tired that I just collapse and sleep. There is no energy left to cry about stuff.

As a kid if I dropped a tear it was such a chaos everyone would start running around trying to just do something or get something which would make me happy. My father would start shouting, the desperation of everyone to make me stop crying was so amazing.I was a prince. I was pampered. On my way to court I passed through the slum and I saw slum kids, most of them were crying. No one gave a shit about it. They just can't afford this luxury.

And crying alone is such an idiotic activity anyway. How does it matter to crib and cry when there is no one to help you out? To cry when no one is there who can help you? And you are not helping yourself either by doing that.

And you people cry on death?? That's the most imbecile thing you can do. Death is not something to be grieved about. To be scared of. Birth in fact, is something one should fear and cry about. Everything you achieved and learnt in past life becomes nil and you start from scratch. What the fuk? Death unites you with the other half of yours, and you return to where you came from. To unity.
It's fine if one laughs or smiles alone though. It really helps you. Laughing somehow is more amusing than crying anyways.

Point of this conversation my friends is,to re-iterate the point which the great JOKER made years ago. To ask once again the perennial question which he asked

"WHY SO SERIOUS?""

======================================

The Loneliness Awards

Hello Ladies and Gentlemen. I, Angela Jolie's Right leg am honored to welcome you to the awards for loneliest beings on planet.

The nominations are :

1) That guy whom the mafia threw in the lake with a stone tied to him 

2) Chinese Xichau Dragon of the Ninxhixig Volcano for whom one has to cross twelve realms of torments just to see him

3) That piece of potty thrown in the universe by International Space station floating in space.

4) That blonde who agreed to listen to her nerd bf's field medal winning hypothesis on Differential Vectors convulated on a probabilistic gaussian curves of elliptical kind 

5) You

 Pls hurry, winner gets a mirror to talk to himself. 

Comic Strips